I came across this article by Tony Payne again recently, and my attention was especially drawn to this important paragraph:

This is love—to seek not our own good but the good of others. And what is their good? It is always to move towards maturity in Christ.

This definition sentence jumped out to me in it's absoluteness – 'always'. This 'always' is part of the problem of the overall shape of Tony's argument, and it is where other assumptions get smuggled in.

In ethics, there needs to be (at least) two axes that we work from: teoleology and nature.

Teleology is about what our ultimate purpose is. What we are 'for'. And so to love someone is to help them towards their purpose. In the language of Tony's article, we 'move them to the right'. This is indeed love.

But nature is about who we are. It is what kind of thing we 'are'. And so to love someone is also to meet them in their nature and relate to them according to their nature. I mustn't Bible-bash someone to the right, for example, because I must move people to the right according to their nature as unique, thinking, feeling, image-bearers of God.

And this means that love, in seeking their good might not always mean, in every circumstance, in every discrete act, to seek to move someone to the right.

In a distinct circumstance, I may need to focus my love more on the person's nature and needs rather than their purpose. I maybe need to love them simply by feeding them. Or hugging them. Or paying their wages. Or listening. 

Love is not ALWAYS moving people towards maturity in Christ!