Neither Nikki or I were raised in Chrisitan homes, so we are muddling along, figuring it out as we go. We pick up bits and pieces from watching others, talking to others, occassionally we're foolish enough to read a Chrisitan parenting book or blog… and often we just work it out for ourselves.
After all our kids are our kids, so like with lots of aspects of parenting we need to reach them where they're at.
I'm finding primary school age is a new challenge. It's not just the rote-learning, ritual-establishing, habit-forming, story-telling, verse-memorising phase of little kids. They're now thinking, reasons, bored, wanting to talk contstantly about Pokemon. They no longer think Colin Buchanan is cool.
So we're trying all sorts of stuff to engage them:
- Mixing up the style of family devotion (we do it at dinner time). Rather than always a Bible reading, we've been doing an illustrated Pilgrim's Progress, various kinds of Bible-knowledge quizzes, a kids version of 'The Case For Christ', and I'm toying with even having a Q&A box/board.
- Have a backbone of Deuteronomy 6-style ministering to them in the regular flow of life. That's things like applying the gospel to the everyday problems of life, praying for things as they come up, sharing things we are thinking and learning about God. Nikki and I have observed we are more likely to do this if we are going well spiritually ourselves.
- Keep assessing how to keep them involved in the life of the church. Our older kids, at 7 and 9 can comprehend a fair bit of what happens in the adult church service, and can sometimes feel a bit to 'old' for Sunday School. But they're not 'youth', let alone 'adults' yet. So we are quite active in talking through the importance of church, how to help them engage with church and so on.
- Don't set the bar too high or too low. Too high and they disengage and see it is as dull and irrelevant. Too low and it's babyish.
- Allow them to ask questions, raise objections. Don't set up a parental expectation that they have to 'play the part' of being Christian. And yet at the same time, don't treat them as an adult sceptic. They are still riding on the worldview and spirituality of the family and their moods and mindgames musn't be allowed to let them drift out of church.
